What Is Counselling?
Counselling (or therapy) is a professional treatment where individuals or couples work with trained therapists to address mental health concerns, relationship issues, or life challenges. It involves structured conversations and evidence-based techniques designed to improve psychological well-being and functioning.
Therapists use various approaches (CBT, EFT, psychodynamic, etc.) to help clients understand thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, develop healthier coping strategies, improve communication skills, process past experiences, and change unhelpful patterns. The therapeutic relationship provides a safe, non-judgmental space for growth and healing.
Strong Evidence for Effectiveness
General therapy success rates:
- About 75% of people who enter psychotherapy show some benefit
- 60% of adults report significant improvement after completing therapy
- The average client receiving therapy is better off than 79% who don’t seek treatment
- Dropout rate is only 18–20%, indicating good treatment adherence
Couples Counselling Shows Even Higher Success
- 70–90% of couples find therapy beneficial
- Nearly 90% observe notable improvement in emotional well-being
- Over 75% report enhanced relationship satisfaction
- 98% find therapy a good or excellent experience
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Most Effective Couples Approach
- 90% of couples significantly improve their relationship
- 70–75% no longer meet criteria for relationship distress
- Compared to only 35% success rate for the next-best couples therapy method
Key Factors for Success
- Session attendance: 65.6% complete within 20 sessions; 22.3% within 50 sessions
- Early intervention: Better outcomes when couples don’t delay—average wait before seeking help is 6 years
- Both partners engaged: Success requires active participation from both
- Therapist training: Specialised training in evidence-based methods improves outcomes
Counselling has robust scientific support with consistently high success rates, particularly for couples therapy when both partners are engaged and evidence-based approaches are used.
What This Means
- If considering therapy: The odds are in your favour—roughly 3 out of 4 people benefit, with couples showing even higher success rates.
- Choose evidence-based approaches: Methods like EFT for couples and CBT for individuals have the strongest research support.
- Don’t wait: Earlier intervention typically leads to better outcomes and fewer sessions.
- Commitment matters: Regular attendance and active participation significantly improve results.
Date Night Research and the 2-2-2 Rule
Suboptimal timing: Research supports regular quality time but indicates different optimal frequencies.
Key Findings on Date Night Frequency
- Monthly is optimal: A UK study of 10,000 couples found those going out monthly had 14% lower odds of splitting up over 10 years.
- Bi-weekly may be excessive: Weekly outings showed no added benefit; couples dating monthly or less often had better long-term outcomes.
- Only effective for married couples: The benefit applied to married couples, not cohabiting ones.
Additional Research Support
- Couples with regular date nights (1–2× monthly) report higher relationship and sexual satisfaction, and stronger commitment.
- Nearly 75% of frequent date-night couples report high relationship commitment vs. 50% who don’t date regularly.
- Date nights provide communication opportunities, stress relief, novelty, and emotional reinforcement.
The 2-2-2 rule can be expensive and unrealistic for many couples, especially regarding frequent getaways and annual vacations. The principle of regular quality time is scientifically supported, but monthly date nights appear more effective than bi-weekly. Getaway and vacation schedules should be adapted to personal circumstances.
Instructions: Evidence-Based Adaptation
- Monthly: Plan a dedicated date—focus on connection quality, not cost or frequency.
- Every 2–6 months: Schedule a weekend getaway or extended quality time away from routine (adjust for budget and logistics).
- Every 1–2 years: Take a longer holiday or significant shared experience (based on resources).
Prioritise undivided attention, try new activities, and maintain consistency without financial stress—focus on connection over expense.
