What is the 10 10 10 rule in relationships

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The 10-10-10 Decision Framework

The 10-10-10 framework, developed by Suzy Welch, is a decision-making method that encourages individuals to consider how they’ll feel about a choice in three distinct time frames: 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years. It’s often applied to major life and relationship decisions—such as breakups, difficult conversations, or long-term commitments.

The model forces consideration of multiple time horizons, helping balance immediate emotions against long-term consequences. It’s designed to prevent impulsive decisions and promote choices that align with deeper values and goals.

Scientific Basis

Strong underlying science, arbitrary timeframes: The psychological foundation of this framework is well-supported, but the specific “10-minute, 10-month, 10-year” intervals have not been empirically validated.

Supporting Evidence

  • Temporal perspective interventions effectively modify decision-making processes.
  • Considering multiple time horizons improves decision quality and foresight.
  • Future-oriented thinking reduces impulsivity and leads to more stable outcomes.
  • Time perspective can be trained and modified through deliberate reflection.

Psychological Mechanism

The framework works by counteracting present bias—the tendency to overweight short-term consequences while undervaluing long-term impact. It engages prefrontal brain regions responsible for long-term planning and self-control, improving emotional regulation during decision-making.

Limitations

No studies have validated the exact 10-minute/10-month/10-year intervals. Some research suggests that optimal timeframes may vary depending on the decision context—for example, shorter horizons for immediate, high-pressure choices and longer ones for life planning.

In short: the framework has a solid scientific foundation grounded in temporal decision theory, though Welch’s specific time markers remain untested.

Instructions: Applying the 10-10-10 Method

10 minutes: How will you feel immediately after deciding? Consider your short-term emotional response.

10 months: Will this decision still feel right? Does it align with your goals and values over the medium term?

10 years: Will this contribute to the person you want to become or the life you want to lead?

Best Practices

  • Use the framework for significant or emotionally charged decisions.
  • Write down your answers for each time horizon to clarify thinking.
  • Adjust timeframes if necessary (e.g., 1 hour / 1 year / 5 years) to suit the context.
  • Review decisions over time to refine your judgment process.

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