Bottom Line: Research consistently shows that dating for three or more years before marriage reduces divorce risk by around 50%. Equally important is the perception of knowing your partner “very well,” which independently cuts divorce risk in half. The quality and depth of relationship understanding matter more than the timeline alone.
The Magic Number: 3+ Years
The most comprehensive research, conducted by Emory University, surveyed over 3,000 married individuals and found that couples who dated for three or more years before marriage were about 50% less likely to divorce compared to those who dated for less than one year. Dating for one to two years lowered divorce risk by about 20%, demonstrating a clear pattern: longer courtships predict stronger marital outcomes.
Why Time Matters
Research by Ted Huston at the University of Texas followed 168 couples over 13 years, categorising them into three groups: those who courted less than one year, one to three years, and three or more years before marriage. Results showed that sufficient courtship time allows partners to assess character, compatibility, conflict resolution, and long-term fit—all of which predict stability and satisfaction.
Age + Time = Success
Later marriage age combined with longer dating duration explains much of the high marital satisfaction in stable couples. Research shows that the inverse relationship between age at marriage and divorce risk is among the strongest and most consistent in social science. The optimal marriage age appears to be 28–32 years, with each additional year before 32 reducing divorce odds by roughly 11%.
Quality Over Quantity
While duration matters, the quality of time spent together is even more predictive of marital success. University of Washington researchers can predict divorce with 87% accuracy using factors such as relationship history, shared philosophy, and mutual understanding. The strongest single predictor of success is whether partners feel they know each other “very well” before marriage.
What to Experience Together
Evidence suggests that couples should experience multiple life seasons and stressors together before marrying—family events, holidays, challenges like job loss, financial strain, or illness. These situations reveal character and resilience far better than idealised romance. The honeymoon phase typically lasts 6 months to 2 years, so enduring beyond it provides a clearer picture of compatibility.
Warning Signs You’re Not Ready
Research identifies recurring patterns among relationships that end in divorce: ambivalence about commitment during dating, avoidance of difficult conversations, being event-driven rather than relationship-focused, and having insufficient knowledge of each other’s values, goals, and coping styles.
Statistical Reality
Current data shows that about 30% of couples date for two years or less before engagement, 53% date for two to five years, and 17% date for six or more years. However, the average dating length in successful marriages is 3.6 years, suggesting that the happiest couples tend to wait longer than average before marrying.
Red Flags: Dating for less than one year, avoiding conflict or real-life challenges, feeling pressured to marry quickly, or not having fully experienced one another’s character and coping mechanisms under stress.
